Inside a Relationship

Scenario: Watching the Red River Shootout Rivalry on TV, while in different states, and Gchatting with each other

Me: That commentator was on The Bachelor
Him: Funny. I put it on mute, so I can’t hear what he’s saying. The commentators annoy me sometimes
Me: He was a Bachelor a few years ago. I feel like those guys are kind of losers.
Him: I agree
Me: They have never had a Yale educated lawyer on there. Want to try?
Him: Umh, I think I’m already taken. I already have a great girlfriend. Have you met her?
Me: Does she enjoy fashion television and online shopping?
Him: Yes. Is she combining the two at the moment?
Me: lol Close! Top Chef and online shopping
Him: That is close!

Today, the Boyfriend officially became a lawyer!

Congratulations! I knew you could do it.

Scenario: Sunday afternoon when he was visiting, making lunch in my kitchen

Him: Can I do anything to help?
Me: No.
Him: Good, then I’ll make my coffee. I’m a king at that!
Me: Are you a king where you come from?
Him: Sorry, we were going to eat you.

This is one of the top ten most adorable things the Boyfriend has ever said. It would have been WAY cuter if he said “Yeah, for like 20 years.” and then I responded with the “eat you” line. But the fact that he remembered this after seeing the trailer for Where The Wild Things Are once (maybe twice) is astonishing for my pop culture deprived boyfriend.

I haven’t seen the film yet, but I did enjoy the review on Sweet Juniper. It inspired me to use the word “harpy” twice in conversation yesterday.

Scenario: on the phone discussing getting married

Me: We just have to find the money. This is going to cost more than you think.
Him: That might be true, but I want you to get what you want.
Me: I think your job is going to be to rein me in with the spending and help me focus on what is really important.
Him: I can do that!
Me: I don’t think you even understand the crazy things some brides do. Like they go to Old Navy on the day they sell their flip flops for a dollar and buy bunches of them so their guests can take off their shoes and wear flip flops on the dance floor.
Him: That’s ridiculous. *We’ve never been to a wedding with flip flops for the dance floor or a candy bar, so that basically blew his mind*
Me: But it doesn’t stop there! Because that’s not good enough. So they take the original Old Navy size tags off the shoes and replace them with homemade tags with their wedding motif, whether that’s birds or a monogram or some quote by the Beatles. Then those shoes are put in a basket that they or their mom bought at Michaels with a 50% off coupon. But you can’t leave the basket plain! It has to have a coordinating sign with some fun little phrase like “We wouldn’t want sore feet to keep you off the dance floor! Love, the Newlyweds”.
Him: *stunned silence*
Me: Then they pay someone thousands of dollars to take a picture of that basket with the flip flops, but that photo is suppose to make it look like fairies just magically placed that basket at the wedding. This is called a “details shot”, and to some brides, a wedding is nothing without these “details”.
Him: We don’t need that because that is ridiculous.
Me: Is it ok to say I love you now more than I did five minutes ago when I started this story just because you said all that was ridiculous?
Him: *laughs* I love you too.

Setting: Studying a Boston transit map my first night visiting him.

Me: What if I end up in Rhode Island?
Him: *shakes head* You aren’t going to end up in Rhode Island.
Me: What would you do if I called you tomorrow and said I was in Rhode Island?
Him: I’d say “Get out of that small state! Get on a train; you’ll be back in the city in 40 minutes.”


Setting: post Mad Men on Sunday night, the Boyfriend calls. He usually goes to bed well before 11 p.m.

Me: How did you know I’d be staying up way too late watching an episode of Law & Order: SVU about corrupt judges?
Him: *laughs* Well I thought you’d call me before you went to bed.
Me: Do you want the Mad Men recap now or tomorrow? *the Boyfriend doesn’t have a TV/cable in Boston*
Him: Ah, why don’t you save it for tomorrow? It might be better then!
Me: Because you want to go to bed now. I know you too well.


Setting: Going out to dinner while I was in Boston

Him: Hey, Roommate, do you want to come? We’re going to dinner.
His Roommate: Really? I wouldn’t be intruding?
Him: Nah, Jillian and I get to talk to talk for 15, 20 minutes a night. We don’t really have to catch up with each other.

That last one was dripping with sarcasm.

Originally uploaded by prettylittlemess.

Setting: New Haven train station
Scenario: Waiting for my train back to D.C. on Sunday. This past weekend was our last visit with each other until I visit him in Boston for Labor Day.

Me: Thank you for convincing me to move here.
Him: That’s the nicest thing you could have ever said to me.

We both meant it.

More pictures from our roadtrip across the Constitution State are here.

Setting: Driving in the car with the Boyfriend last week in Flo Mo.
Scenario: I don’t listen to popular radio but I get MTV Hits AND MTV Jams on digital cable. T.I. and Rhianna’s “Live Your Life” which samples “Dragostea din tei” by O-Zone made infamous by the Numa Numa video on YouTube comes on the radio.

The Boyfriend: I’m glad they brought this song back! It was the Yale Debate party song!
Me: *knowing it’s T.I. and that the Boyfriend is confusing it for “Dragostea din tei”* Oh?
The Boyfriend: Yeah! You know! *sings* Mai ai hee, Mai ai huu . . .
Me: Oh, yeah . . . .

August 2006:

Setting: My family’s kitchen
Scenario: Dad has agreed to drive the Boyfriend and I to the airport for our Mexico vacation. The flight leaves from Love Field, which is about 30 minutes from our house. We are discussing what time to leave.

Dad: What time is your flight?
Me: 8 a.m.
Dad: Ok, what time do you want to leave here?
Me: Hm . . . *to The Boyfriend* what do you think?
The boyfriend: *tentatively* Leave here at about 5:30 a.m.?
Dad: *Makes that face of his where he raises his eyebrows and looks at you like you have lost your mind*
Me: Ok. Can you drop him off at the airport at 5:30 and come back to pick me up at about 6:30?
Dad: Hell no.

We left closer to 6:30 since we were only going to Houston then leaving from there for the “international” portion of our flight.

January 1, 2009

Setting: My family’s kitchen
Scenario: Dad and Bradley are frying a turkey, a Rose Bowl tradition I was NOT going to miss. It’s not out of the fryer at 2:20 p.m. My flight back to D.C. leaves at 4:17 from DFW 15 minutes from my house. The Boyfriend is there to say goodbye. Obviously he is aware of the time.

Mum: Don’t worry about it, Boyfriend! *shakes head* I know what you are thinking, but we know how to get to the airport. Trust me.
The Boyfriend: Oh, I know!

I ate my turkey, McKatie came home from work, and were all in the car at 3:00 p.m. I was sitting at my gate, past security, by 3:20 p.m. Boo-yah!

* * *

Scenario: The Boyfriend calls the last night he is in Texas before going to bed. He leaves to go to the airport early in the morning.

Me: What time are you going to the airport? About the same time I was eating turkey at my house?
The Boyfriend: Slightly earlier than that.

Friday night:

Setting: Books & Notions
Scenario: I’m very, very stressed and tired. I call the Boyfriend from the work phone. Earlier in the day I had convinced him to go to the Mates of State concert in New Haven. I thought it might be over.

*phone rings* The Boyfriend answers the phone, but doesn’t say anything. He holds it up so I can listen to the concert. I listen, standing on the sales floor, for about a minute with a gigantic smile on my face.

My thought: He gets me. Three years in, and he gets me. Moments like this show me how far we have grown.


Saturday night:

Setting: on the phone
Scenario: discussing the day

Me: Guess who came into the store tonight?
The Boyfriend: Who?
Me: Elizabeth!
Him: Oh, wow! Did you talk to her?
Me: Yeah! She was at a baby shower at a nearby restaurant. Then she was going to a movie with a group of friends. She’s living in Garland now with a friend.
Him: Wow! I haven’t seen her since, like, Christmas. You are keeping up with my family more than me!
Me: *suddenly very disappointed and now annoyed* We are not talking about the same Elizabeth.
Him: We aren’t.
Me: No. I am talking about Elizabeth, our friend, Angela’s best friend. Remember? We were just talking about her last week?
Him: OH!!!
Me: Yeah.
Him: How would I have known that?
Me: Why would you think it was your cousin Elizabeth *who he probably hasn’t seen in three years*?
Him: She lives in the area! She could be at your store!
Me: No, she doesn’t live near here.
Him: Yes! She does! Near Chad’s house . . . I think . . .
Me: *thinks for a while* I didn’t even meet Elizabeth at the Christmas party. Remember? Her babies were sick. They weren’t there. So I couldn’t have been talking about her; I don’t know her.
Him: Yeah, I just realized that. Sorry.*

My thought: He will never remember names/dates/places. It’s just not going to happen. We will continue to have these types of poke-my-eye-out, frustrating discussions as long as we are a couple. He doesn’t get me.

*Some of this could be blamed on my tendency to not give context clues in conversations. You have to fill in the blanks yourself. This is a well formed pattern in my family; one can start a conversation with “You know what I am talking about right?”. Yes, I totally know what you are talking about, and nothing has been said.

That’s family, I guess.

Me: A customer last night said I smell nice. I was looking up something on the computer, and he was standing close to me.
The Boyfriend: Were you wearing perfume?
Me: Not the right answer, Boyfriend.


The Boyfriend: My flight is delayed. I won’t be getting there until closer to 6.
Me: So I have to wait another 9 hours to see you? What if some guy tells me I smell nice in the meantime?
The Boyfriend: Tell them your boyfriend is on his way.

1996: Mr. Bartholomew’s World Geography class
Jenny Johnston receives the Boyfriend’s graded quizzes, and she his. They come up with an almost rhyme about how their names sound alike, but are still one letter different. The Boyfriend sat to my left and wore long sleeved polo shirts with white collars.

1998:Mrs. Zampiano’s class, Student Council meeting
We are making halos to sell for Valentine’s Day, with the star wire and ribbon curls. The Boyfriend is not participating into the crafting, but more of the planning for the 50s style dance. He asks what a duck tail is, and the teacher admonishes him for forgetting a lesson from The Outsiders reading unit. This is the first known remembrance of the Boyfriend’s “Oh, ah. . .” expression that is used when he “remembers” something he never knew in the first place.

1999: Mrs. Bayle’s Geometry class
The Boyfriend sits to my right. The girl who would later be the saludictorian to his valedictorian is in that class. Senior year, she has a crush on him, but doesn’t act on it. She is one of the nicest people I’ve ever met and went to my college. The first summer we are dating, we go out to dinner with her.

2002: Chad’s house
Chad’s sister just had a baby. The Boyfriend holds the baby and looks very uncomfortable. Everyone tells him he needs to get more comfortable kissing babies if he is going to be a politician.

2002: Chili’s
We all go out to eat before going to our separate colleges. I have a picture of Melanie sitting in the booth next to The Boyfriend. As a joke, I frame the picture and give it to her. It is sitting on her dresser the first time The Boyfriend and I visit her apartment as a couple.

2003: The Ballpark at Arlington
Melanie organizes a baseball game outing to see the Atlanta Braves play the Texas Rangers. We sit in the cheap seats in the bleachers. The Boyfriend mentions that some time he should take us to a game and sit in his parents seats.

2004: The Ballpark at Arlington
Melanie and I go are invited to a game since his parents are busy that night seeing Beauty and The Beast. It’s the night or a few nights after the Boyfriend’s 20th birthday party that I couldn’t attend due to the fact it was McKatie’s birthday. (Everyone went to see Garden State; Melanie had to do a shot of tequila when she arrived home.) After the baseball game, we go back to The Boyfriend’s house to eat leftover cookie cake. This is the first time I meet the Boyfriend’s parents.

2004: Melanie’s house
The Boyfriend and I pull up at the same time, and I help him unload the board games we were going to play at the going back to school party. I open the front door and immediately have a minor panic attack about who is sitting in the living room. Melanie calls me into the kitchen where she is mixing cookies. She asks if I’m ok. I offer to leave and pick up something we needed at the grocery store. I pull the Boyfriend to come along with me so it doesn’t look like I’m freaking out and needing to leave. I am freaking out and needing to leave. While at the grocery store, we discuss music. I mention I’ll send him some music. The Boyfriend later recalls this night as the first time I flirted with him. I remember this as the night I bought a gallon of Fiji water to stop my nervous sweating. Also, this will later be known as A+ Outfit Night.

2004: New Year’s Eve
Melanie’s brother throws a party, and I wear my hot top. The Boyfriend and I discuss dating, and I mention how I’m dating people. One person even reminds me of him. He finally finds out why I was so nervous on the night of the board game party. He had no clue. I bring my friend Amanda to the party, and at midnight her and the Boyfriend are standing next to each other. Someone looks at them like they should kiss. They don’t. A few hours later, we pile into the Boyfriend’s mother’s car to go to Steak and Shake for a snack. I am freaking out about something in the backseat. As we eat, The Boyfriend and my freak out discuss Asian foreign policy.

2005: Postcard
I send the Boyfriend a postcard with links to my blog so he can download some mp3s.

2005: E-mail
The Boyfriend e-mails me to say he will be interning in Austin this summer. Do I know of anywhere to live? I reply: ever heard of Craigslist?

2005: Ashley’s car
On the way to the house of the next guy I’m going to fancy, Ashley and Chad announce they smell and “Jillian and the Boyfriend hook up” that summer. I laugh it off, especially after meeting the next person I’m going to fancy.

2005: Phone call
The Boyfriend is in Austin over Memorial Day weekend, but I’m in FloMo. He calls to get dinner; I tell him it will have to be next week. I say “It’s a date!” I use the word “date”.

2005: Playground
At the playground of my daycare job on a Sunday night we sit on swings and discuss. Later the Boyfriend confuses that he thought I wanted him to kiss me this night. I did not.

2005: Batman Begins
The Boyfriend calls me after work on a Friday night to see a movie. I suggest Bewitched. He suggests Batman Begins, but says “Ok! I’ll see Bewitched!” I laugh because I wasn’t serious, and the movie wasn’t out yet. As he drops me off at my apartment, I wanted him to kiss me. I call Chad afterwards and tell him I wanted him to kiss me. Chad groans thinking this is a bad idea. Melanie thinks it’s an even worse idea.

2005: My apartment
The Thursday after Batman Begins, we go to Whole Foods to pick up dinner and hostess gifts for a party we are going to that weekend in Waco. We go back to my apartment and eat bread dipped in olive oil. The Boyfriend states how he thought this was just a Macaroni Grill appetizer that you could replicate. We sit down on the floor to watch TV. In the middle of Rear Window, I lay my head down on a pillow. He says something about how he should be going. I say “No, I like having you here.” 20 seconds later, I sit up, look him in the eye and kiss him. He pulls away and says “wowwowowow, wait”. I ask what’s wrong. “I’ve wanted to do that for a really long time.”

2005: Early Morning
4 weeks to the day we kiss, the Boyfriend wakes me up at 7:14 a.m. before going to work.
-Jill! Jill! Jill!
-what . . .
-I love you.
-what . . .
-I woke up this morning, and I just knew it. I love you.
-I love you too.
-I have to go to work now! Bye!
-You don’t just wake a person up to tell them you love them and then say goodbye!

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