This weekend we worked on a budget, but nothing could be determined without knowing what type of wedding we were having. And that couldn’t be decided until we knew who would be there.

Below are the three phrases I repeated as we started this process:

1. Everyone who will be there, should be there because they love you.

It’s taken from a post Holly Burns did right before her wedding last fall. The bit I keep remembering is this:

. . . remember that everyone will be there (and you presumably invited them) because they love you. They are not going to give you a bad wedding rating with the New York Times because the lanterns don’t flutter up and down instead of to and fro.

I’ve gone to weddings where I wasn’t there because I loved the people. And I judged the odd centerpiece of a shallow heart shaped container with floating candles.

I feel like if I limit the guest list, I limit the judgment at our wedding.

2. I am an adult. But just because I can eat cake for breakfast, doesn’t mean I should.

This comes for Jason Kottke’s post asking what it means to be an adult.

Yesterday, I asked the Fiancé if recognizing my limits and putting limitations on our wedding activities do to my high strung/anxiety-ness was being mature or selfish. We agreed it was a little of column A and a little of Column B. The Fiancé then said to me “Remember what it means to be an adult. Just because you can eat cake for breakfast, doesn’t mean you should.”

Just because I determine the guest list, doesn’t mean I should ONLY have the 10 people I really, really want there.

3. Dad wants someone there to talk to.

This is what Bradley said to me on the phone last night after a particularly snapdragon like reaction on my part. His words were like a dagger to my selfish, overly anxious heart.

Of course there needs to be more than 10 people there! Otherwise, we’d just sit and stare at each other.


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