Setting: work last Friday
Scenario: A senior co-worker asks a few of us younger staff members how we are doing after last week’s layoffs
Me: Well, I cried in a bar last week.
Her: I’ve done that.
Me: I hadn’t had anything to drink yet.
Her: I haven’t done that.
Setting: at our bar last Friday, a week after the layoffs
Scenario: former co-worker (the harbinger of the above mentioned bar tears) talks to me about the situtation
Him: You are the only person taking this badly, and I need you to stop. You are making me worry. No one else is worried but you!
Me: I know! I just feel so bad for you.
Him: I’m going to be fine. Trust me! I’ll be around, going places. I’m going to send you a picture of me somewhere eating a banana with a monkey; I’ll have a goofy grin on my face. Then you’ll know I’m fine.
Setting: church yesterday
Scenario: Our priest, the one we are talking marriage, slips in my pew before mass to catch up with me
Fr: What’s new?
Me: *thinks* There were massive layoffs at my office, but I kept my job!
Fr: That’s good. The Boyfriend must have been praying for you.
Yes, he called him “the Boyfriend” and not his given name.