Setting: At Target, as I try to decide what I can afford out of the lotion/skincare aisle. They didn’t have my cheap face scrub, so I was deciding between pricey face products and something new and shiny, yet completely unnecessary.
The Boyfriend: *points to the face scrub* Leave the gun, *points to the $10 foot cream* take the cannoli.
Setting: Watching Giada make pancakes, while making breakfast myself
Me: She just made boxed pancake mix 400 times more complicated by adding mascarpone cheese, vanilla and almond extract, plus almond paste like it was chocolate chips! All to a boxed mix. That’s too much.
The Boyfriend: I wonder how you would make pancakes from scratch . . . I guess you would have to grind the wheat . . .
Me: Get out of my kitchen.
Setting: Discussing a friend’s search for a wedding dress
The Boyfriend: What about J.Crew? She doesn’t like any of their dresses?
Me: No, they are a little too plain for her.
The Boyfriend: Ah! That’s what I like about them; they are simple.
Me: You are adorable.