The Fiancé

Setting: new apartment
Scenario: while unpacking boxes, we stop to search through my purses looking for a couple iPods that I stashed in purses

Me: *pulls out sandwich size Ziploc bag containing a powdered white substance from a purse* What is this?!
The Fianc&eacute: IS THAT COCAINE?! ARE YOU SELLING DRUGS?!
Me: I don’t know! Maybe? *opens bag, smells substance* It smells like Kool-aid. Why do I have a baggie of Kool-aid in my purse?!*The Fianc&eacute is now laughing hysterically. I move to the kitchen to open the bag over the sink.*
Me: *tastes some of the powder* Oh! It’s Benefiber. Nevermind. Not drugs.

What a bummer! I thought for sure I could sell the white powder for profit. Now, I’ll just have to resort to selling things on Craigslist to make extra money for the wedding.

Setting: Last night, his house
Scenario: We had a fashion show with his complete wedding look.

Me: Hey *yelling at him in the closet* when this is all over, can we plan a wedding? Just for fun? With all the things we want?
Him: No, you can do that for profit if you want.
Me: Ok, fine then. Let’s just fantasize about our dream wedding then.
Him: *ducks back into closet*
Me: It would start with guests receiving a quatro-fold — no it would have five folds — what’s the word for something with five folds? Cincofold? Anyway. They would receive a multifold, letterpressed brochure outlining the events for the weekend. First up would be the golf scramble on Thursday afternoon.
Him: Why would you have a scramble? If you are going to play golf, just play golf.
Me: You know I don’t know what a scramble is, and I’m just using that word. It’s either that or a competitve volleyball match on the beach that is overlooking the ocean.
Him: Fine, golf.
Me: And I want a white tent, a Sperry tent!

At this point the fantasy was interrputed as I instructed the Fiancé to try on his wedding day socks as well with his suit. And he looked at me like I had completely lost my mind.

Happy six year dating anniversary, Josh! I can’t wait to marry you in 30 (!!!) days. I hope the U.S. Open ticket I got you last weekend makes up for the lack of wedding related golf outings next month.


Photo by Katie Stoops

Setting: The Fianc&eacute’s apartment after dinner last night. He made chicken, asparagus and rice on his own!
Scenario: We sat down to look at our calendars and budgets. I opened his Google calendar and scrolled to June looking for a wedding balance deadline I had calendared on our shared Goin’ to the Chapel calendar.

Me: Why are there so many things on your calendar?
Him: Because there are sports. *he has several different teams’ calendars*
Me: Ah, ok. *still searching for what I was originally looking for* What is this?! *On June 19, there is a reoccurring appointment: Engagement Anniversary*
Him: Well, yeah.
Me: I didn’t even know what date it was until I saw this! You are cute.
Him: This way I don’t forget.

The Fiancé and I did Karaoke for the first time. We chose Maps by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, but changed our selection to Friday I’m In Love by the Cure at the last minute. We thought it was more duet and bar crowd friendly. But the DJ disagreed and shook his head at the substitution. He even commented on dumping the “cooler” song when he introduced us to the crowd.

Later as we were closing the bar tab, our names got called up for Maps. The DJ didn’t take us out of rotation, and I think he secretly really wanted to hear this song.

But I’d had three drinks.

And the Fiancé’s favorite band is still Green Day.

(I need some explanation for what happened next.)

I remembered most of the words and the beat. But when it got to the chorus, the Karaoke teleprompter typed out the “MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPS” part as “Ma . . . Ps”. So I said out loud “Ma” (like the slang word for mother) and “P.S.” (as in “P.S. I love you”).

The DJ looked at me like I lost my mind.

And then I did it again during the second chorus.

I’m so sorry to 2003 Jillian and Karen O.

Setting: on the phone
Scenario: The Fianc&eacute took a shower at my place on Saturday. He didn’t want to use my last clean towel. So he . . . improvised.

Me: Hey, remind me again. How many degrees do you have from Yale?
Him: Just the two.
Me: Hm . . . ok. Because I was wondering what they would think of one of their alumni using a washcloth to dry themselves off after a shower.
Him: *laughs* I used an undershirt when I went on debate competitions. A washcloth is an improvement.

* * *

Setting: dinner
Scenario: I was discussing with the Fianc&eacute how I tried to explain the usefullness of a Google docs spreadsheet over an Excel spreadsheet to someone who wasn’t all that hip to Google docs.

Him: You know what I wish we had in chambers? Google Wave!
Me: You know they shut down that service like two months ago, right?
Him: That’s good. Because I’m going to quit my job and start a tech company!
Me: And produce a product that has already failed once?
Him: Exactly! You could rewind documents. *makes a little air circle with his finger* I could use that at work!

$16 @ Martha Stewart Weddings – one year subscription
$4.70 @ Cosi – mojito lemonade
$2.11 @ Staples – double sided tape
$6.69 @ Pret A Manger – half sandwich and lemonade

Not included, paid out of Wedding Fund:
$228 @ Zappos – ANOTHER pair of wedding shoes (that are already on their way back to be returned)

This also does not include the Fiancé’s birthday gift, a Baked & Wired carrot cake cupcake.

Yesterday was my last day in a long-distance relationship. Tonight I fly to Boston to help the Fianc&eacute move to Northern Virginia. We’ll be living on the same street, him just three blocks up and to the left.

I don’t know how we got here, but I know it’s been a five year journey. But at the same time, it seems like just yesterday we spent our first summer together in Austin. I’m excited to see what our future will be likethat we can spend more time together.

This probably means it is now unexceptable for me to come home from work and watch four hours of Star Trek: The Next Generation while eating a pudding cup.

The story of how we got engaged isn’t really important. What’s important is that the next day when I woke up with a case of Montezuma’s revenge in a New York City hotel room, he sat with me on a street corner bench as I ate crackers and drank iced green tea.

The Morning After

He is the man that I knew I would marry for the past two years. The proposal was really just a formality.

A formality that resulted in an amazing piece of jewelry.

Ring on It

On our five year dating anniversary, the Boyfriend became the Fiancé.

Now, let’s work on making him the Husband.


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